if someone wrote your ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) biography, what would it say? |
[27 Jun 2019|09:36am] |
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[02 Jan 2011|04:11pm] |
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mood |
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it's that time but all of you |
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JOURNAL ONLY FOR PSL. PM AWAY IF YOU NEED ANYTHING
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| this until I can think of something better |
[08 Dec 2010|09:08pm] |
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| ramblings |
[18 Nov 2010|12:44pm] |
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It's been almost two months now since the biggest shock of my life and I don't really know if I would consider myself healed. I think this entry is really cathartic for me though considering it's the first time since the announcement that I've had the guts and the courage to write anything. So how am I? That's the normal question that I always get and the answer is never a straightforward one. Truth be told, I think I'm still upset at no one thing in particular or one person but the combination of the circumstances still angers me. There are so many unanswered questions that will probably remain that way forever, so many things I wish I could have said or done. Though I do not regret anything, I still have dreams of saying one more joke or sharing one more pint of beer with you or something similar. The things that people wrote about you angers me. Their audacity to say things that they have no clue about breaks my heart because if they only knew just how amazing you were, they wouldn't dare write anything of that nature about you. I think people are slowly healing though, slowly but surely picking up the pieces in your absence. The holidays are coming and I know it won't be the same but I also know it won't hurt forever and that I won't feel this way forever. Besides your absence, life is really good for me. Marriage is quite amazing and even though you didn't formally call your relationship that, I know that in your short stay here, you felt my feelings too. This Thanksgiving, I have so many things to be thankful about and I know that if you were here, you'd tell me to be thankful for the hurtful stuff too because they help teach us so many things. I don't think I can do that just this year. But you know, maybe next. Happy Thanksgiving.
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| I'll try not to lose track of what I posted this time. Thoughts on sharks? |
[03 Nov 2010|10:18am] |
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mood |
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placedholding too |
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| no rest for the weary |
[20 Sep 2010|05:16pm] |
When I was younger, I remember going to quite a handful of auditions for various parts from cereal commercials to ones involving toy cars. Often, I'd have to go after school. My mom would drive me to the various locations around LA and it felt normal to me. Go to school. Play with friends. Audition. Get rejected. That was usually the case anyway and when you're young, a simple statement saying "You didn't get the part this time, Joe but I know you did your best." was sufficient. It meant I had more time to spend with my friends, that I could actually watch more TV or hang out with my older brother. As I grew older, it wasn't like rejection was any harder to take. I didn't go to as many auditions just with my schedule getting a bit crazier but at the same time, hearing the word "no" did not devastate me. I always figured it was a part of life, a natural course that most of us take although being a guy and having to be the one to ask girls out most of the time was actually great training for this. Now that I'm in charge of an actual production company, well, now things have changed.
When I publicized hitRECord and marketed it as an open place for people to showcase their art, I meant every word of it. It was a project that I started years back and my philosophy on it hasn't changed. However, for a production company to thrive, it needs to make profit somehow so that we can pay the contributing artists and for administrative costs. When you have quite a handful of gifted, creative people in one site, it makes choosing art hard. It's not that the chosen one is better overall. Most of the time, it's just the nature of the project just like how whenever I got rejected in my auditions as a boy didn't mean I was that bad of an actor. Some people might just present more polished work than others and so their art might get noticed more by me and the general public. It's not a personal thing either. I'm not rejecting your work as much as I'm choosing one that fits better with a certain theme or feel. These last concepts are hard to explain to people and I have just started to feel that burden on my shoulder quite recently. I guess this entry is sort of cathartic for me. I know I cannot please everyone with how things goes. I just wish most of them would understand that nothing as an administrator, my actions are never at a personal level.
Besides that craziness, life has been good in the City that never sleeps. When I say City that NEVER sleeps, I really meant to emphasize the never. I don't think I've ever had such full working days as now (or accident filled ones) but I've enjoyed this kind of movie, the cast and the crew so besides the lack of sleep (and possibly me feeling a bit more exhausted than normal) the experience has been great. However, with that said, I'm ready to finish filming here and go back to some place more relaxing, somewhere where I can just relax and recharge my batteries a bit. Life these past few weeks has been a whirlwind. I'm ready for the peace and quiet.
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| what will you be this halloween? |
[20 Sep 2010|07:47am] |
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mood |
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update this week |
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| New York, New York |
[24 Jul 2010|11:51am] |
I love a lot of things about LA. This is fact. Most people associate it with Hollywood and its culture but I associate it with so much more. LA is my home, the place where I learned to do the basic of things - ride a bike, observe traffic rules, read a script for an audition, fall in love, etc. LA is where I started and it is a place that I often come back to time and time again. The irony of it all though is that it is not the city that helped me grow up. That's an entirely different location but with the same amount of charm - New York City.
Being back in New York City to film is a different kind of homecoming for me. When my TV show ended, I was what one would call a cynic. My appreciation for life was at an all time low despite one of the biggest roles that I have landed in my life. At that point, I felt like I had no control over anything. What happened in my life was decided by other people and not me. They were the puppet master and all I could do was nod my head and obey. Heck, I couldn't even cut my hair without asking for permission. And so I moved to New York to study French. Most importantly though, I think I moved to see if I could make it on my own, if I could survive without my hand being held by everyone, to see if I could appreciate life once more like I did in LA.
The energy and vibe in the Big Apple was something that I immediately welcomed. Whenever I was not in my apartment trying to get the French accent down, I was out and about the streets, figuring out new places to eat or watching artists perform. The more time I spent outside my room and my comfort zone, the more I came to appreciate theater. I saw plays, met the people, learned about their stories and listened to their advice. New York gave me the chance to direct my life the way I wanted to, provided me with the opportunity to try new things. If I was bad at it, I did not receive ten phone calls to confirm that fact. Instead, I simply moved on in search for something else. For three years, it was my playground, my safe haven, my home.
Now that filming has started again and I'm back to a place that's more familiar than people think, I wonder what New York has to share with me this time. Of course my life is different now. I am not the same cynic that walked its streets years ago but I'm sure I still have quite a bit of growing up to do.
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| placeholding with a photo that I'm still staring at |
[08 Jul 2010|10:44pm] |
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mood |
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sorry for being here twice! |
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| away for a bit. |
[22 Jun 2010|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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just said no to technology |
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| placeholding until jet lag leaves me be |
[27 May 2010|03:03pm] |
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mood |
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back in the US...SA |
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| Yes! It came. I saw. I think we conquered each other. |
[27 Apr 2010|11:25pm] |
The rules are simple:
1. You MUST tag someone that you aren't friends with. This is a game to branch out of your own social circle people so if you're tagging your friends then it's going to defeat the purpose.
2. Your task will be to answer the five core questions, and all other questions that are added to the post as the game progresses.
3. In addition, you must add ONE question of your own at the end.
4. You'll be making your own post in YOUR JOURNAL with these answers.
5. Please post the rules along with the questions and answers in your post so that everyone can follow along.
1. WHAT'S THE LONGEST YOU'VE GONE WITHOUT SHOWERING? BE HONEST!
Is someone keeping track of the difference between boys' and girls' times? I've gone three days without showering when I went to visit my brother in Thailand a few years back. We went hiking and then a bunch of his friends spun fire. Now that I think about it, spinning fire in areas where there are trees was not so smart but yes, I smelled like fire/dirt for three days.
2. CHOOSE A UNIQUE ITEM FROM YOUR WALLET OR PURSE AND EXPLAIN WHY YOU CARRY IT AROUND.
I have this train stub from when I visited Zooey in Ireland. It was before we were dating and after I asked her out and she said no. The night meant a lot because it was I guess a break point for a lack of better words. I did not want things to be awkward but there was always that possibility. However, the night was really fun! We went dancing in this one Irish pub, had a few drinks, roamed the streets. It was nice knowing that we could still be friends and that we could look past the awkwardness.
3. YOU ACCIDENTALLY EAT SOME RADIOACTIVE JELLY BEANS. THEY WERE GOOD, AND WHAT'S EVEN COOLER IS THAT THEY ENDOW YOU WITH THE SUPER-POWER OF YOUR CHOICE! WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?
I wish I had the power to stop time for one person daily. Everyday, there's always someone who could use the extra 3 hours or sleep or 2 hours of work on a project, etc. I think it would be a handy power to have.
4. IF YOU COULD TRADE PLACES WITH ANY MEMBER OF THE COMMUNITY FOR THE DAY, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?
Ryan Gosling. I think Ryan is one of the most dynamic and versatile actors in the industry today and that he will be for a long time. I would love to switch places with him.
5. IF YOU HAD TO CHALLENGE SOMEONE TO A DUEL, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHAT WOULD YOUR WEAPON OF CHOICE BE?
I need a duel re-match with Jimmy Fallon using our laser packs where people receive electric shocks if shot directly. I won but I think he was being nice and let me win.
( interested parties, please click )
lmm, you are up!
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| if I'm on at weird times these are the reasons why |
[24 Apr 2010|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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back but placeholding! |
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music |
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her & he |
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Sunday 25 April 2010 || Sala Apolo || Barcelona, Spain
Monday 26 April 2010 || Joy Eslava || Madrid, Spain
Thursday 29 April 2010 || Théâtre de l'Alhambra || Paris, France
Friday 30 April 2010 || Lido || Berlin, Germany
Saturday 1 May 2010 || Loppen || København, Copenhagen, Denmark
Monday 3 May 2010 || Kägelbanan || Stockholm, Sweden
Tuesday 4 May 2010 || John Dee || Oslo, Norway
Thursday 6 May 2010 || Melkweg || Amsterdam, Netherlands
Friday 7 May 2010 || Butlins Holiday Resort || Minehead, United Kingdom
Friday 7 May 2010 || Koko || London, United Kingdom
Monday 10 May 2010 || ULU || London, United Kingdom
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| Humpty Dumpty did not like this quote |
[18 Apr 2010|08:48pm] |
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mood |
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I shall return. |
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HIATUS
taking a bit of a break before diving back to the RECroom and Inception promotion
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| placeholding |
[15 Apr 2010|07:41pm] |
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| placeholding and yes, your notes are still my hostage |
[30 Mar 2010|11:06pm] |
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| the art of writing |
[16 Mar 2010|02:29pm] |
The scene is a classic one. A person is sitting on a desk, one elbow on it as he furiously tears a piece of paper from the pad in front of him. Still angry and feeling slightly powerless, he crumpled the helpless lone piece and throws it on the floor. Backing up from the close-up view, the floor is riddled with round pieces of white paper. For me, I have always witnessed these moments sitting on a comfortable chair, laughing at the TV screen or shaking my head. The other day, I was the frustrated author.
I don't exactly know why I felt so much pressure trying to make the letter perfect in the first place. Surely she would like anything I wrote in whatever language or style I wrote. If I signed it TTFN or C ya L8r, I don't think she would hate me. Of course it's not the most romantic ways to end it but hatred is a little too much. Still, I looked at the paper, baffled as to how to begin it. Ending it was the least of my worries at the moment.
In an effort to tackle the writer's block, I made myself tea. Five cups later, I realized it was not a solution but merely a distraction, an annoying one that made me get up to go to the little boy's room every five seconds. Oh, but the tea is much more vicious, leaving a stain on the lower left corner of my pristine piece of paper. It was a menacing blob laughing at me as I picked up my pen - my next mistake.
The minute the tip of the black pen touched the piece of paper, another blob was created followed by several smaller circles. My pen was bleeding all over my fingers and the paper. By now, I was more frustrated than ever. Taking a few deep breaths and with a new pen now, I attempted to try again. This time, I found a flow. Words from my brain were traveling to the tip of my pen in a rate that I don't think I've witnessed since college. There were a few spelling errors here and there as I forgot the 'i before the e' rule in my excitement. I tried to correct them without making them obvious but I'm sure they are pretty easy to find. Just when I was certain my little masterpiece would be the envy of writers around the world, you burst into the room. Hurriedly, I shoved the piece of paper between one of the books on the floor, all decoys in case you rang the doorbell or knocked, except you didn't. I forgot you had a key.
It wouldn't be until later that night that I would sneak past you to assess the damage on the letter. There it was, with a fold from me just shoving it between pages. There's also an old book smell to it now that I don't think I can flush away. I thought about starting a new one but the words caught my eye. They were everything I wanted to tell you, wanted you to know when you left. It was a letter that was supposed to keep you company in lieu of my absence. So I finished it, signed it and gave it one last look.
My white, spotless piece of paper was now a wrinkled one with spots from the pen and my constant tea breaks. The words had obvious erasures and perhaps my writing was a little crooked. I smile as I've realized that this love letter was better than what I started out with - it's me in portable form.
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[02 Mar 2010|10:27pm] |
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LYING AROUND: About 5,200 people lay naked on the steps of the Sydney Opera House Monday to have their picture taken by American artist Spencer Tunick. (Rick Rycroft/Associated Press
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| hopefully words will replace this soon |
[16 Feb 2010|10:00am] |
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